Bleh

Today’s the last Sunday before the serious work begins. Guess I should make use of the time to reminisce a little and recall what shit I did in the holidays again haha. On my planner is two weeks where I smugly wrote “STUDY” on each day, but it’s clear I was writing bullshit. :P Hmmm, let’s see….

After months of intense Chinese, I thought it was time to reward myself. I proudly went to Orchard to get a birthday present for Celine, which was a hello kitty cooking pot. And I bought other things too but I’m not going to write about them because no one’s going to care. I have better things to blog about than post badly filtered pictures of shoes and clothes and perfume and food. Watched the Avengers with Shev and cousins, and I have one word to say. OH MY GOD

Aha and the 30^th and 31^st of May were two days that really changed my life.

For really changing my life, I would like to really thank traditional chinese (tc) for asking me to come lol, because if not for him, I would still be ignorantly viewing autistic patients. And I would also like to thank whoever planned the see I pee, I’m not really sure who they are, but thank you your hard work. Thank you to the teachers in charge of my group as well, for being so amazingly patient both with Joee, me and the students. How do the hell do they manage? Thank you thank you thank you to the autistic children of course. I know you will never see this, but all of you have moved me a great deal. Thank you to my best friends Celine and Joee for their company and for listening to my non-stop insight sharing after each day :P And thank you to daddy God for blessing me with the joy I had. Whew!

I went to the flyer with Joee, Charlene and Danielle on the 3^rd and came home only remembering that I ate subway for dinner. I mean I can see the freaking skyline every day, why must I go on a fancy wheel. 4^th June. Badminton with Hin Yee at warren. Then lunch at Boon Lay market. I still can remember this. We ordered $4 hokkien mee, yu pian tang, chicken rice and chendol. And omg I really like, love the hokkien mee there now. Next time I’ll sneak away and dabao some back home wooooohoooooo. Okay and on the 6^th, I went to orchard with Celine to drink coffee and then we went home to watch Chinese show at 9. BLOODY SHIT

Wah I’m damn tired already. Just look at all the shit I did. But I have to finish this. 7^th June. My lovely cousins and sister forced me into playing running man downstairs our house. I was in the red team with Issax, and Shev was together with Charlotte. We were supposed to tear their nametags right. The game was an hour long. We took them down in 2 minutes. And then we had three challenges, the coffee challenge, the ball challenge then chubby bunny. Sigh. All the shit we do hahaha. I’m damn lousy at chubby bunny.

Oggay there’s more. 12^th June, badminton with hy and church friends. Quite fun. Oh well, whatever I do with my friends is fun. :P 15^th June, Sentosa outing woooohoooo. At the end of the day I was salty smelling and damn cao da, but I had a wonderful time, again. I don’t why, but I always have a lot of fun. What Joshua, Lisa, Hin Yee and I did was very simple, but it was fun. Guess it’s the people that make the difference. We just sat on the beach, talked and talked while we ate, played truth or dare, played Frisbee and then went on the Luge. Simple, sweet and quite unforgettable. 16^th June. Father’s day celebration at ah gong’s house. I seriously love my cousins, I have the best cousins in the world lol. Ryan, Jonathan and Joanna haha. Ah, and the very last day before we started school a week early, we had a beautiful father’s day.  Simple but you know, I just find ways to pick the sweetness out of everything.

And that’s how I spent my holidays.

After reading the shit I just wrote I feel like this:

Make a difference

I have a big dream.

A dream to change lives.

People can call me crazy all they want, but I don't see a reason for me to cheapen my dreams... Every time I do see I pee (sorry, cip :P), the after comfort of knowing that I could have potentially changed a life comforts me. At the end of every single cip, the urge I get to do life changing things gets stronger. And stronger. Right now it has come up to a point where I really HAVE to make it happen. If I don't, I fear the fear of not being the person I dreamt to be. 

Just the other day I was at SAAS doing cip yet again. But I wouldn't say that I was changing lives though. I say that because autism isn't a disability, it's only a communication problem. They don't need help because most of them are smarter than me. I should be getting help, we all should be getting help. But I was there hoping to add on to the joy they already posess. Then again, I may have been the person receiving it.

Do people nowadays really know what joy is? People nowadays are easily pleased, but all by the wrong things. Popularity, friends, clothes, idols, music, girls, boys... if you tell me these things "complete" you, I might as well just stop living shouldn't I. Not that I'm not guilty of the things I mentioned above. I definitely am. Guilty pleasures are all part of having fun when you're young. But the difference is, guilty pleasures aren't the key to your lock, they can NEVER NEVER complete you, even if you try your hardest to make them to. I'm sorry, but that's a fact. 

I may not be the best person to describe what real joy is, but I may have had a slight taste of it after doing so many see I pees. And you wouldn't believe how simple experiencing that joy was. If you say autistic kids can't show affection, oh you're wrong, because Daryl, Vimal, Willis, Lucas and Timothy are just perfect examples of why you should rethink that stereotype. They can. And that's the most amazing thing, the surprises. You would never expect any of these kids to make eye contact with you, much less hold your hand, but they did. And that's what brought me that slight taste of joy I was talking about. Seeing kids you'd never expect to smile, smile. And at you even. Having kids that cannot stay still hold your hand. THEY are what I call true blessings from heaven :')

I want to change multiple lives actually. Mine, and other lives. I want to make more people smile just as much as I want them to make me smile. This is the person I want to be, because I want to live for a purpose and not lead a regretful, fatass, "waiting to die" kind of life. I want to be the person that makes that difference. 

I want to be an inspiration.

This story below inspired me, and reminded me of what I want to do in life, so I'd like to share it here :)

posted from Bloggeroid