The shit I do when I have to study

*O*

"Don't worry, be happy" - Bobby McFerrin

So what if

So what if you’re strange

How normal can everyone be?

So what if you’re irritating

I don’t think everyone’s delightful

So what if people can’t stand you

Ask them to sit down

So what if you’re ugly

What is the true definition of beauty?

So what if you’re fat

It means you have more space for food

So what if you’re not good enough

When can anyone ever be good enough?

So what if you have failed

It doesn’t mean you can’t succeed

Don’t tell me I don’t understand

What it’s like to be fat and ugly, I say don’t

Because I’ll tell you, you don’t understand

What confidence is.

Be happy, be strong, earn respect

Not regret.


For anyone who has ever felt unwanted and unloved

Story of the day

Dear Diary

My name is Ling. I am not very pretty. In fact, I am not pretty at all. I do not have the best skin. I am short and own a short bob. On the contrary, I own a very long uniform, one uniform. I am what everyone calls “nerdy”. I am what everyone calls “weird”. I am what everyone calls “loser”. I am unlike the others.

Day one.

I set foot today in this new school, hoping that it is a good enough escape from my previous. While walking to class, I watch the strangers and their mannerisms closely, and try to predict if I will receive better treatment here. So far, none have stared or pointed, which is a good sign. I think.

But ah, as expected, things always change when I step into the classroom, because that is when I receive my first stare.

Day five.

The people here are slowly starting to send me signals that they are no different from the monsters at my previous school. They are already coming up with the nicknames, which are nothing like endearing pet names. It is free period. I am secretly overhearing the two popular girls in class discussing what to call me.

“No la, since she looks like her ma doesn’t feed her enough rice like that, we should call her ‘skinny ling’.”

  

“But she very short also.”

“I know, I know!”

I only hope they never come to a decision.

Day ten.

Nobody even knows my name is Ling anymore.  They call me something I do not even dare to put down in this diary. It is like nothing I have ever been called. I dare not trust anyone for fear that they all wear masks and will never unmask. I fear that behind their kindness is mockery and deceit. I have already gotten a slight taste of how that mockery and deceit feels like on day seven.

What have I gotten myself into?

Day thirty.

Things are very bad.

I do not know why they dislike me so much. They trick me every Thursday. I now have more than one “pet name”. I have had vulgarities being thrown on me for being short, skinny and ugly. The worst reason was for being a “nuisance”.

I come to this school looking for change and the only change I get is the intensity of the bullying. It is worse now. There is no one I can trust.

Written by Sharmaine

Rojak

Yeah, I kind of just realised one week went by. That means it's three more weeks to mid-years, damn. But it also means I'm 3 months and a week down to the end of the year, woohooooooohoohoooooo. :D I don't know if I should be rejoicing now, but I think my chances of rejoicing are becoming rather limited, so I guess I should. (Hahaha, Yun Ying will pinch me if I say this to her :P)

Oh I'm obviously enjoying April so far. Actually, I enjoy everything. Moomy always tells me that Shev and I seriously know how to enjoy life. Don't know what to do when you're bored? Come to us. We always write bucket lists like "stuff to do after exams" which are fun enough to borrow. ;) Somehow I always manage to check every box. Seriously.

Anyway, April fools was a joke. (See what I did there.)

BUT, the highlight of my week was obviously, Thursday to Sunday, yes. The holy four days. I went for my first ever Maundy Thursday service this year *claps*. Out of the three services this week, I have to say Thursday's really made a huge impact on me. It was special, because it was held at night (suits this nocturnal asshole here) and there was this strange, overwhelming spiritual presence I felt in the sanctuary, which was Jesus, I'm sure. Such things are the "you have to experience it for yourself" kind. It's quite hard to explain the power I felt. You just have to be me.

Another thing is, looking at Jesus' nail pierced hands on the cross never fails to remind me of God's unending love for me and the world. Again, I'm unable to put it all in words, but Christians would understand what I mean. It's just that... watching the holy and righteous son of God receive torture from undeserving humans is sad. It's. just. damn. sad. Honestly, I don't think we as sinners should even be getting the opportunity to just watch this act of cruelty.

But we get Good Friday and Easter Sunday because God still let us sit on comfortable church chairs and just watch, regardless of how deep our world is drowned in sin. And that's why I'm a Christian. Because of this love. I mean, where else can we get love that is unconditional? Even family love comes with terms. But not God's.

Anyway, just a few more things about my week - I went for a picnic with Hy, Joee and her cell group after church on Friday ;) I just have one thing to say. Why the hell are my friends so fun, seriously. I'll say it again and again and again AND AGAIN - I have the best friends in the world. Omg. I really do.

And, I got an egg from church today.

Yay.

Oh, and I don't freaking believe in monday blues. Happy monday ^ ^

Swim meet 2012

Swim meet 2012. This is the result of just sitting in the stands and watching buff bodies move in the water.

Poem of the day :)

I've began appreciating poems lately, and not just Christian poems, those that evoke something inside of me. So I heard this poem being read out during devotions that day, and I gotta say, it felt rather amazing hearing the poem line after line. It was like having your mother embracing you when you cried, whispering into your ears "everything's gonna be alright." I felt that comfort and warmth so strongly when I listened to the poem. To be more specific, God's comfort and warmth. But it also reminded me of how we always throw God aside, how we always think that we're alone when God's actually there. This poem told me, "wake up. God's always there. Especially when you least expect it." Which was a very good reminder, by the way. I thought that everyone who ever felt helpless during those hated tough times deserved this reminder, so I thought of sharing this on my blog for people to believe that even when you're alone, you're not. Because God's there, guiding you every step of the way.