Dreams

Last night I had a horrible dream. Like, really horrible.

I dreamt of 3 of my close friends dying. They say that dreaming of a loved one dying is a symbol that you lack one of his/her's qualities. Okay, I think I know what it is. Sigh.

Anyway, virtual dreams aside, let's talk about my real dreams, like my dreams for the future, those that will determine my place in the society.

There are a million and one things I want to do when I'm old enough. I even have a list. But I'm not sure if Blogger has a limit for their posts because it's damn long. Am I ambitious? You could say that.

For my career I'm okay with anything to do with the media industry. But I'd be an idiot to start off in Singapore.  No one really appreciates local TV shows or movies here. Only a minority. Of course I'm not obsessed with getting noticed, but I don't want to waste my time doing something that won't get me far. I'd rather direct or produce a movie than act in it. Because I love writing, I'd also be okay with being a columnist or journalist. I think those are pretty cool.

No one knows it, but I'm pretty fascinated by the sea. The sea is just this amazing, vast, pool full of things you can never see in person. I mean if you go 5000m below sea level you'd probably die. I don't even know how deep the sea is and that's what I wanna find out someday. Deep sea creatures like the angler, vampire fish and electric eel amaze me.

I love interacting with people. And I love boasting that Singapore has a beautiful Ferris wheel that lights up at night. Combine those two, and you'd get tour guide. Yes, I wanna be a tour guide. Don't judge me. This is another secret, but I want to be a counsellor. There's just this thing about helping people and giving me advice that I really like. I was just talking about volunteering to speak to suicidal patients anytime now. But my mom told me that I'd have to know dialect or else the patients might go "biaokin, wa ke si!" Then they'll jump down.

I love animals. So bring me to the zoo. But I'll be sick of the smell within a week. Oh if I work at the night safari then it'll take two weeks. Because it's cold at night.

I love travelling too, so when I was younger I'd constantly dream of flying on an SQ plane with my hair bunned up and my body adorned in those pretty kebayaks. (Did I spell that correctly?) But this dream was kind of crushed by my genius lit teacher who told me that drunk passengers like to handle boobs. So I guess being a tour guide would suffice.

I'd also love to have high paying jobs like a surgeon or doctor, but those are totally out of the question. The things is, I like watching dramas and the human body being opened up. Nah, kidding. It's just very fascinating and I'm not prone to puking.

I don't mind owning a bakery either, because one, I LOVE baking, and two, I love doing business. In fact, my sister and I used to own a "bakery" called SH delicious treats when we were younger, operated over phone and sms. The only ever business we had was a box of 12 muffins sold to my uncle. But when I think about that now, I wonder what our loss was, because we kept on giving discounts. I am a hundred percent sure that we didn't even make a profit. Ah, kids.

I know this list is longer, but I have absolutely no energy to type everything out.

The things that are completely off this list are sit-in-the-office-cubicle type of jobs, teacher, boss blah blah blah. I want my life to be interesting.

That time of the year.

So at the start of every October I go through hell. Then at the end of every October things change.

And when things change I tend to forget all the hell I've been through and just think about the year as a whole. Of course that's not the only thing I do. I do other crap like shop, watch movies (usual girl things), tweet, chat, exercise, sing, dance, write, fantasise about skydiving, SLEEP, but that's not the point.

Point is, I'll probably be reliving my precious memories through this post, so don't blame me if things start to get all fluffy and perfect. Of course I have bad memories, but those aren't worth remembering. If you ask me, I'd rather save all my brain space for the happy ones. I always stick to believing that right now, on earth, we need to experience happiness. Death is inevitable, so when we die we'll be deprived of the chance to ever experience happiness again. So why not treasure the chances we have now?

Back to the memories.

I remember finding out my class at the end of last year through the school email. After a bad 2010, I was hoping history wouldn't repeat itself. I got the wonderful news that my good friends were with me and what really comforted me was the fact that it would stay this way until we graduate. Now that was a good way to start the year.

This school year for me has, without a doubt, changed my life in so many ways. I thank the school for organising these priceless class-bonding activities. OBS makes it into my hall of fame without a doubt. It was by far the best thing I've ever experienced. And honestly, I think I would die for a chance to go back there again. A couple of hours of rock-climbing and kayaking would be quite perfect. They say it's the hardest stepping stones you remember and I gotta say that I agree fully.

You know, the year has really forced me to come out of my little shell and make more friends. Right now, I think I'm probably friends with the whole 3E. And of course, I treasure the other friends I ever got the pleasure of meeting this year, last year and every year I've lived. I'll never forget all of my friends.

So June arrives. Then July. And after half a year goes by, you always wonder why time passes so quickly. July 15th and 16th. RYC. I was grouped with Sheryel and other lovely people I had the chance to meet. I met even more during my meaningful CIPs at highpoint. Up until this point, I think I lost count of how many great people I met this year.

Then September arrives, and the next thing you know, October arrives. I turned fifteen in the funniest way. Then I realised how simplicity actually creates the best memories, unless you're a materialistic dick. Celine, thanks for being the first to wish me on the phone even though twelve midnight isn't an appropriate time under the circumstances. I'll always remember how you counted the minutes.

Now, it's mid October. In 2 days time I'll be proud of the fact that my sister would grow a year older. Strangely, it feels like I cannot get enough of the ending year. So many wonderful things have took place this year and a mere blog post isn't enough for me to describe this amazing year.

But hey, ROCs has yet to arrive. I shall wait until November. There'll be more. 

5th October. 10:38.

Okay. I've finished with the day's revision, my head's on the verge of explosion, my hands are numb and my eyelids are heavy. About time I relaxed (I think). I thought I should sit down for a good old five minutes just to write. I don't write about crap usually, so my blog isn't really considered a distraction. Writing actually helps me to find my center and calm my nerves, so I guess it would be the perfect remedy for this killer stress trying to suck the life out of me.

Where do I begin. Exams have been good so far, but I have a feeling that tomorrow will definitely be the cause of my sad demise, judging from the way I couldn't even keep awake while revising for tomorrow's papers. Friends, you can prepare for my funeral.

Oh, I'm really just waiting for Friday. Once Friday comes I can make up for all the sleep lost and of course, practise my Chemistry until I have not a single question left.

This is beginning to sound boring, uh, how do I add life into this blog post? It sucks.

Oh, I ate ice-cream just now.

I'll end here?